Ok its been a verry long time scence i'ev posted.
Well things havent really worked out to plan.
I only just got my temporary residency in Australia, and in the mean time Nicks gotten himselfin some trobble and is in jail right now, so he cant immigrate.
It made the news which made me cry.
Im so sad for him.
Hes been acting out ever scence me and Serenity left, and unfortunately its gotten him in good trobble this time.
Hes doing really well though.
Hes doing what he should right now and getting himself together.
He tells me hes so sorry and tht hes done me wrong, but he doesn't even have to say sorry.
I get him, and I understand that hes been hurting.
Right now im buying a trailor in South Carlolina so I can come back to him.
Im hopeing he'll be out of jail in the next 6 months but he seems so think hes getting 18 months.
God I hope not.
We have people saying he may only get probation because its a first offense.
Alls I know is the sooner he comes home and gets a job, the faster we can pay our little home off so i can come back.
Hes so excited.
When i told him im comming back with Serenity he sounded like a little kid he was so excited.
It makes me feel good to know hes happy.
When we are on the phone alls he keeps telling me is how he wants to go to collage, and work, and how hes so happy im comming home to him.
Im just glad hes not sitting in pitty in there, hes making plans to do better.
Hes so upset that hes in there, he keeps crying that im going to leave him, because he did "this" to me.
Im not angrey though, just sad.
I wish it didn't take him getting in trobble to change his additude about school. I'ev been asking him for 3 years to finish school.
I think its one of the most imporatant, self investing things you can do.
Im proud of him though.
He sat there and told me he was scared of me leaveing, and then told he everything he did wrong anyways.
Thats the most imporatant thing to me.
Honesty.
And I cried I was so happy, but he thought i was sad.
I keep telling him I love him and that I there for him.
To be honests when he first went to jail we didn't talk for 3 weeks because we couldn't. and there was about a week where i just was set on breaking up with him.
But i really sat there and had a good long think about it, and I love Nick, through thick and thin.
I love that he makes mistakes, and that hes not always perfect.
And yes this isn't really a small mistake, but Nick, well hes just Nick.
And I know he wont go back to jail ever again.
I know him better than anyone.
I even knew he was up to somthing, even though i didn'y no exactly what it was.
I just no hes going to be doing better from now on. I can hear it in his voice.
I hurt for him.
Hes so such a love.
He told me i need to be strong for Serenity, because he cant be there for her right now, and that hes sorry that Im lonley, and hes sorry everythings been put on me.
He said we are going to have a big family and when he comes out hes going to stop acting like a grade schooler and step up, so we can make that happen.
And said hes going to be with me, and that I am the most precious thing in this world, and that he doesn't understand why I love him so much.
I love talking to him, but I wish he'd stop worrying.
Im a big girl, and Serenitys ok, and im ok, I just miss him.
But everything will work out and my family will be ok, because we will re-unite this family.
For now, i am trying my hardest to get a trailor rent to own, and im looking into mechanic, building, and welding corses and TAFE.
I want to do one of them before I come back, but I have to see if my certificate will be recodnized in SC first.
Aw one thing that made me smile!
His mom told me if her sons going to be with anyone she wants him with me.
And she said shes proud of me for sticking thinsg out with him.
I love him though.
It doesn't matter if everyones on my side or everyones against me, because I love him.
And I no that my Nicholas Patrick Snipes is good, and that he has so much of it inside him.
Dont get me wrong, Nick has quite a dark side to him, but i'ev seen everything, and In all honestly i wouldn't change a hair on his head.
Nicholas Patrick, I love you hunny.
Everything will be ok, and we will fix this, together.
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